Precious Time

Time has always been one of my most precious possessions, the one I guarded like a sentry.  That strict, protective vigilance was the natural response of a hyperactive, overachiever who worked full-time in fast-paced, stressful jobs.  I first worked for a newspaper doing sales and writing (deadlines), then horse racing in advertising and promotions and then into the corporate world for a telecommunications company.  Every second counted. Multi-tasking was crucial.  Prioritizing tasks was necessary and sometimes a challenge when multiple projects and leaders all had equally demanding timelines.  There was never enough time in a day, and rarely did I feel a sense of accomplishment.  I had no time to bask in the joy of a completed task, much less acknowledge a job well done.  It was crazy, crazy, crazy.  The train was always speeding forward, and I was breathless and dissatisfied, watching life zip by in a blur.


At the end of the day I was eager for down time.  I was starved for quiet, unencumbered, timeless solitude.  After I got my initial dose of it, I was ready to share any remaining free time with others. First, David, my husband, and my cats and then other family and friends.  However, I was also engaged in a series of hobbies and interests:  writing, bird-watching, nature photography, karaoke, drum circles, volunteering at animal shelters, travel, motorcycle rides, piano, gourmet cooking, gardening, Zumba, Yoga, Art of Living, etc.


I think losing my mother early in life made me all the more aware of how precious time is.  And I want to learn and experience everything I can while I'm here.


Finally, after 30 years of rushing through life, the stress had its impact.  Health issues mounted, pain racked my body and mind.  I was one gigantic nerve from head to toe.  Emotionally, I felt like a fragile, glass vase, and every touch, vibration or noise added another crack to my surface. I thought I would crumble into  pieces at any moment.


So I quit.  I left the corporate world and the traditional workplace.  I'm no longer going to a job that I dread and doing unfulfilling work like a mindless drone.  I feel blessed that we are in a financial position to allow me to do this.  But I also know that many others could do the same since telecommuting and home-based jobs are becoming more and more  available.  Working from home requires commitment, self-motivation, organization and sometimes a minor  financial investment to make it profitable, but it can be a reality. 


I recently discovered a quote that sums up my feelings on the matter of time:


I am tired of the imposed rhythms of men,
Tethered time, restrained and trained
To a monotonous beat
Digital time blinking exactness
Unliving.

~Phillip Pulfrey


I've cast away the imposed rhythms of men, tethered time -- all of it.  I embrace my right to dance to my own erratic, unique beat.  I have rediscovered the original me and grasped the fullness of who I am with both hands.  I won't let her go again.  I am living as I was meant to live.  The creative me is writing again, singing, dancing, laughing, exercising spontaneity, giving, loving, listening, stopping to breathe and drink in every moment of this precious life.


I am doing what I was born to be, a writer.  


And I celebrate every moment, every day, every lesson, every challenge, everyone I love who adorns my heart.  I am so blessed to be fully awake again and loving life.

Many have asked me (sometimes with eyes of green) -- what do you do all day? They say or infer:  It must be fun to just sit around and sip tea all day, punch out a few words, then time for another break.  No, this is not the nature of my life.  Yes, the pace has changed.  Thankfully, it has slowed down.  But I have the same structure as any full-time worker.  I still rise every morning before 7 AM, shower and dress.  I still work five days a week.  Two days on transcription work.  And three or more days of writing.  I never quit before 5 PM.  I do it because I love what I'm doing, and I can't wait to do it.


And because I am thankful for this opportunity to work at home, I also take care of all the household and yard chores (save for mowing), cooking, cleaning, small sewing jobs, errands, shopping, etc.  


My days are still full from beginning to end.  The difference is the pace and loving what I'm doing.  Also -- freelancing gives me the flexibility of time.  If something important comes up -- I can shift my hours.  


Time is precious.  And I'm not wasting another moment.