Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Feeling Hexed

Do you sometimes feel like you are hexed for the day? 
This afternoon I went outside through the garage, which I never do, to salt the driveway. It's coated in a thick layer of ice from this week's rain, followed by snow.  Only a quarter of the way through the job, I run out of salt. I went back inside the garage to return the salt bin and then into the house to get my car keys and purse and headed back out through the big garage door again to get into my car. The handle on the driver’s side snaps right off. 
I curse like a bandit and then go in through the passenger’s side and slide over. I turn on my engine to let it heat up, then go out the driver’s side, being careful to leave it partially open.  I then start to scrape the ice off my windshield. It’s a nearly impenetrable antarctic barrier, at least 1/2 inch thick. 

Twenty minutes later, the ice scraping is done, though poorly, and my hands and arms are throbbing from the effort.  Why did I decide that the northern climes were the perfect place to settle down?  Hmmm... I question my own judgment in these times.  Anyway, I head for the car door to get back into my car. However, I forget that the driveway is still also covered in ice… So I slip and fall, slamming my knees on the pavement. I roll over and lay there for a while, contemplating the sky and the universe and thinking over all the misguided deeds I am now being punished for. Finally, not finding anything justifiably evil for this kind of punishment, I get up. I might have a few bruises, but I shake it off, refusing to be deterred from my mission. 
I then find that the driver’s side door has blown closed in the wind and since my car is running, it automatically locks all the doors. Of course! So I have no keys and my car is running. Then I sadly realize that my purse is also still in the car (which has my spare house keys).

I remember, gratefully, that I exited the house through the big garage door, so I use the auto door opener and limp in through the big door again. The wind is cold, so I tap the button to close the big garage door again but the sensor has been on the fritz so it will not close. Seriously? Do electronics hate me? I make an adjustment and then manually close the big door. However, I realize that the inside house door is still locked. Okay then.
I think... hey... I can call our neighbor to get our spare house keys from them! But my hopes are dashed once I look over to their yard and realize that they are not home. Oh yeah... they are away for the holiday. Yep. Par for the course. 
Then I remember that we used to stash an old house key somewhere in the garage and I start looking. It is deftly hidden amid myriad nuts and bolts and wrenches and hammers and oil cans and plywood. Luckily for me, I find it, open the inside door, go inside and call the car repair shop about fixing my car door. The repair will only cost $1,000. Just kidding, luckily it’s a minor repair (under $200). But they cannot do it until Friday, and I have to leave my car there all day, and I have no ride to and from the shop. Gratefully they offer to taxi me back home at least. Good samaritans do exist. Well, they are getting 200 bucks out of it. But still, something was looking up at least. I retrieved my extra car keys from the house, returned to my car, turned off the engine and decided to call it a day. 
If I can… by some slim chance, cross the brutal winter tundra that is our driveway, manage to get into my delapidated POS car and drive there without killing myself or others along the way on Friday morning, I can get the car door fixed and then go get some salt. Wish me luck that the hex has been lifted by then!